"Oh! Piglet," said Pooh excitedly, " we're going on an Expotition, all of us, with things to eat. To discover something."
"To discover what?" said Piglet anxiously.
"Oh! Just something."
There’s a popular saying that the only real things we can give our children are roots and wings. I beg to differ. While it is true that I have given my daughter roots – a stable loving environment where I believe she has been given respect and honor and a great deal of love – I have not given her wings. Those were her own. Her own to find and stretch and try and fall with. And now they are hers to fly with.
I’m sitting in LAX – waiting to return to Portland – the home I left 18 days ago. And all I can think about is the daughter I left behind in Boston. She’d probably be mad to know, but I cried as I watched the city grow smaller and smaller in the window. A part of me knows that nothing will ever be the same between us again. She’s found her wings and she’s found a place to fly with them. I have to let her go. And nothing in the world makes me happier than knowing that she is ready.
I’m so glad I did this trip with her. There are so many memories – sweet and funny and frustrating – and they are ones that I will always and only share with her. But to know that she will now be moving down a path that will lead her to a job and most probably a husband and children, and that my part of that path is now completely different than any other I could have, it’s a bittersweet parting. I hesitate to define because I don’t want it to sound trite or over emotional or easy. It’s not easy. And only someone who has had to separate from a child can know what I am feeling at this moment.
So Pooh went on an expotition. And discovered something. She learned she was smarter than she knew. Braver than she thought. And more fragile than she knew was possible.
I love you Bridgete. I know you know that. I’ve never hesitated to show you and tell you. Even when you didn’t want to believe it. But you are the best decision I ever made. The only one I made from my heart – no second thoughts ever. And you are the best, bravest, smartest, funniest, most loving person I have ever known. So go fly now. And don’t you ever look back and wonder if I’m okay without you. Because I am – even when my heart is breaking – I am okay.
